Official development blog for the PARANOIA roleplaying game. No description is available at your security clearance. The Computer is your friend.

Monday, November 06, 2006

PARANOIA in the real world: Environmentally friendly munitions 

Loyal citizen Adam Marafioti forwards a story from the British newspaper The Observer, dated October 29, 2006, by ethics reporter Lucy Siegle. The article, "Where did it all go right," concerns the new wave of "ethical" products for "conscious" consumers. (Speed the day.) Adam writes, "There was one paragraph right near the end of the article that I found to be very PARANOIA-like":
There have also been some bizarre attempts by decidedly unethical industries to jump on the bandwagon. My favourite initiative by far, just in terms of downright audacity, comes from arms manufacturer BAE Systems, and its introduction of an 'environmentally friendly' range of weapons - reduced-lead bullets, reduced smoke grenades, and rockets with fewer toxins.

Not that this is a stupid idea, as such -- but we can easily imagine R&D working with HPD & Mind Control Persuasion Counselors to spin a PR campaign for "Restricted-Impact Lethality" weapons. Slogan suggestions, anyone?
Posted by: Allen Varney / 2:09 AM

Comments:
"Kill the Target, not the Bystander"

"Fire & Forget about bad odors and carcinogenics!"
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : November 06, 2006 5:19 PM
 
"Personnel friendly Anti-Personnel Grenades...now with hypoallergenic shrapnel!"

"Keep Alpha Complex clean. Use Greenades, with biodegradable shrapnel."

"NuNapalm. Fewer toxic petroleum distillates, but with the same excruciating burning sensation."

"Conserve citizen! Remember that each laser barrel has the potential for 19 shots!"

"Prevent waste. Use refurbished laser barrels."

"The Clone you save, might be your own."
# posted by Blogger Sideshow : November 06, 2006 5:59 PM
 
"New, TacNuke-Lite! All the explosion with 70% less radioactive fallout!"

"Try TacNuke-Zero! All the explosion with none of the radioactive fallout!" - This is just a GINORMOUS container of conventional explosives. Totally non-portal.

"Looking for an eco-friendly crowd control agent that makes rioting InfraReds sit down and take notice? Try OlestraGas!"

"Don't throw those used syringes away, citizen! Retrofit that old needle gun with a Sharps Container Magazine and Loader System."

"Reduce noise pollution! Put a silencer on that sonic pistol!"

"LoDense Truncheons. Half the cost, half the density, all the environmental responsibility."

"Conserve energy, drive the new clone-powered autocar RIKSH4W-2FT. This isn't your Prime's OldReckoningmobile."
# posted by Blogger Sideshow : November 06, 2006 6:32 PM
 
"For your safety, Hand Flamers are now mandated to be equipped with child resistant safety devices."

"Reduce your dependence on batteries, try the new Handcranked Force Sword."

"New, in time for [DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS], the SierraKlub. A club made from the recycled remains of actual members!"

"TankBot 200...less armor means better fuel economy!"

"Get the latest in recycled rubber munitions! Buy AP shells from Hail Mary Defense Firm."

"Help prevent Complex Warming. Use Form ALG-0/RE to request the thermostat be turned down!"
# posted by Blogger Sideshow : November 06, 2006 7:08 PM
 
Environmentally friendly weapons to kill humans are of course totally ridiculous. However, environmentally friendly bullets do have legitimate uses in hunting animals. I think many countries have banned banned the use of lead in shotgun pellets due to environmental reasons.
# posted by Blogger Punainen Nörtti : November 07, 2006 3:27 AM
 
"Clean shot"
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : November 07, 2006 3:41 AM
 
It's not THAT ridiculous, lead is nasty stuff and an extended engagement can leave a lot of it lying around, in tiny pieces, to enter the local food-chain.

The environmental impact of the lead a group of duck-hunters can reasonably expect to throw is pathetic compared to what a group of marines can expect to go through if they are forced to defend themselves, or take an area by force.
# posted by Anonymous Moto42 : November 25, 2006 2:37 AM
 
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