PARANOIA

Greg Ingber of the Traitor Recycling Studio had a vending machine encounter that will ring true to citizens of Alpha Complex:

At a large corporate call center I encountered a vending machine that dispensed "Gourmet Coffee." One of the options was something called a Butterfinger Frothe -- coffee that tastes like a candy bar! I dropped in my money and watched as a paper cup dropped into the Beverage Dispensation Area. As the liquid squirted into the cup, a protective plastic shield rotated into place, courteously preventing any errant splashes from soiling my casual wear. When the machine had completed its dispensing procedure, it produced a pleasing "ding" sound as a red light flicked on above the words "Caution: Hot Liquid."

As the protective shield retracted into the machine, I discovered the little red light was not lying. This Butterfinger Frothe was not only very hot, but the beverage had Frothed half an inch above the lid of the cup! This made the task of extracting the coffee rather delicate. I took the cup with both hands, gently lifting it off the drainage grate. As I slowly began to lift the cup away from the machine, the protective plastic shield suddenly activated, striking my wrists with considerable force! Instinctively, I jabbed back at the shield while desperately attempting to keep the cup level. The shield quickly retracted, but only for a "running start" as it once again thrust toward my hands. Forgoing caution, I yanked the cup out of the machine -- scalding hot coffee spilling over both hands.

Apparently, this machine was so eager to protect me from coffee burns, it attempted to shield me from the drink... even as I was holding it in my hands.

On the positive side, the beverage tasted like a glass of hot water into which a Butterfinger candy bar had been suspended for about seven seconds. I've heard this is how such confections are enjoyed in many Third World countries.

New Scientist reports that merely posting a picture of watching eyes over an honor-system cash box in the breakroom nearly triples the amount of money employees put in the box.

"Melissa Bateson and colleagues at Newcastle University, UK, put up new price lists each week in their psychology department coffee room. Prices were unchanged, but each week there was a photocopied picture at the top of the list, measuring 15 by 3 centimetres, of either flowers or the eyes of real faces. The faces varied but the eyes always looked directly at the observer.

"In weeks with eyes on the list, staff paid 2.76 times as much for their drinks as in weeks with flowers. 'Frankly we were staggered by the size of the effect,' Gilbert Roberts, one of the researchers, told New Scientist."

Thanks to Gareth Hanrahan, who comments, "I think the phrase is 'aaagh'." (Also seen on Slashdot.)

On the leading fan site RPG.net, Seafloorian, better known on Paranoia-Live.net as CPUreaucrat, has published a thorough overview of the 128-page PARANOIA service group supplement, Service, Service! (Style 4, Substance 5). Commendation point, citizen!

The Eye of Shinjuku (1969) by Miyashita Yoshiko, at the JR-East train station in Tokyo's Shinjuku district.

(Via Warren Ellis. Thanks to Morbus Iff at Gamegrene.)

Thanks to Big Evil on Paranoia-Live.net for spotting this OKCupid PARANOIA test. I myself made it only to ORANGE Clearance -- unmistakable evidence the test was subverted by Communist sabotage.

The nine-question test includes a request for your e-mail address, but you can just click through without entering data and still see your results. Ideally you'd also like an explanation for your fate, but then that wouldn't be PARANOIA, would it?

Note: The test itself is work-safe, but other parts of the OKCupid site (a dating site) definitely aren't.

Malcolm Craig, the Scottish designer who runs Contested Ground Studios (creator of the acclaimed indie RPG a|state), is about to release a new RPG called Cold City. It's sort of an X-Files in occupied Berlin during the Cold War. Cold City evokes suspicion and fear of betrayal that should sound familiar to every PARANOIA player:

In Cold City you take the role of a member of the [Reserve Police Agency], those secretive Cold War monster hunters. Characters are defined not just by who they are and what they are like, but by the views of the other characters and the trust that they have in them. For each character is, at the outset, seen as a national stereotype, a cliched representative of their chosen nation. But is this really the case? Do they live up to the stereotype or do they show themselves to be wholly unique individuals? And how does this affect the trust that the other character have in them?

Craig's forum posts discuss Cold City character creation and the rules system. Note the inclusion of a Trust mechanic inspired by Timothy Kleinert's Mountain Witch RPG. Man, I wish someone had invented that mechanic while I was revising PARANOIA....

Contested Ground has posted an attractive ten-page Cold City preview for free download (2.4MB .PDF).