PARANOIA

This week I've been at the Austin Game Conference (I was a panelist at the companion Game Writers Conference), so I'm late in mentioning two more RPG.net reviews: PARANOIA Flashbacks, reviewed by Matthew, and WMD, reviewed by the tireless Silent. (Paranoia-Live.net forum members who have followed Silent's checkered career may find the latter review remarkable -- Silent actually manages to spell "paranoia" correctly throughout his review.) Thanks to both!

David Graffam posts an RPG.net review of Extreme PARANOIA. It appears that after prolonged moaning and self-debasement on my part (sorry about that), the ten-month drought of PARANOIA reviews is coming to an end. As a reminder, if you've bought a PARANOIA roleplaying supplement from this year's prolific output, why not submit a review to RPG.net or the site of your choice? It's the loyal thing to do!

Along with George Orwell and Aldous Huxley, one of the principal influences on PARANOIA was Franz Kafka. I just happened on a tremendously ugly but interesting Kafka tribute website, In Memory of a Good Man. (Warning: Annoying music!) Scroll a sixth of the way down the first page to see Kafka at an amusement park, and two thirds of the way down to see -- I swear -- Kafka at the beach. For me these photos somehow evoke the spirit of PARANOIA.

George Orwell's novel 1984 is the principal influence on PARANOIA, so this news story on LiveScience.com should intrigue any fan: Study: George Orwell's Illnesses Influenced '1984'.

The gloomy stories of George Orwell were likely influenced by the writer's own ailments, including tuberculosis and infertility, according to a new study. [...] The new study, by John Ross of Caritas St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center in Boston, recounts Orwell's sickly life. The research is slated to be published in the Dec. 1 issue of the journal Clinical Infectious Diseases.

Orwell was born in India in 1903 as Eric Blair. He suffered multiple bouts of bronchitis and other respiratory ailments, Ross writes. As a young man, Orwell had several episodes of bacterial pneumonia, and also contracted dengue fever while in Burma. He was a heavy smoker, and he suffered fits of coughing from a condition called bronchiectasis. [...] "His health worsened significantly just as he was working on the first draft of 1984," Ross reports. Fever, weight loss, and night sweats sent him to the hospital, where he underwent “collapse therapy,” a treatment designed to close the dangerous cavities that form in the chests of tuberculosis patients.

Relying on Orwell's own descriptions of the treatment, Ross says it "may have influenced the depiction of the tortures of Winston Smith in the Ministry of Love" in 1984. [...] "Orwell himself told his friends that 1984 would have been less gloomy had he not been so ill—it was a very dark, disturbing, and pessimistic work," Ross said. Orwell's illnesses "made him a better and more empathetic writer, in that his sense of human suffering made his writing more universal."

Makes me wonder whether, had Orwell been a vegan triathlete Marx Brothers fan, would he have written 1984 so it looked more like Alpha Complex?

For the record, I am in perfect health and have been all my life. I shall now blandly assert this as the sole reason I can't write as well as Orwell. So there.

Comrades! Now to be payink close attention to blog of Comrade Dan Schorr, former distrrrict attorney of Westchester and Queens counties (New York), soon to be attorney for capitalist pig-dog Morgan Stanley in China. Last week Comrade Schorr paid visit to glorrrious Communist paradise North Korea:

"I [headed] into North Korea with approximately one hundred other American tourists, all taking advantage of North Korea's decision to allow Americans into their country only this month after a three-year prohibition. [...W]e went to an event unlike anything I've ever seen: Mass Games, a tremendous, socialist mass art form in which thousands and thousands of people move in ultra-choreographed performances -- gymnasts, soldiers, schoolkids, acrobats, and dancers with lights and music, with thousands more holding large cards that are flipped from color to color to create words and images as a backdrop. The last Mass Games was in 2002 -- the next is supposed to be in 2008. They are planned to celebrate major events -- in this case, the 60th anniversary of the liberation from Japan.

"The performance was called 'Arirang' -- an ultra-patriotic and nationalistic telling of Korean history. Photos and video just can't do justice to the scope and intensity of Mass Games -- a socialist art form in which individuals come together in mass. [...] The performance runs this year for about two months -- we were told that 100,000 performers took part in opening night, with a lower number of people after that. It lasted about ninety minutes. 'Arirang' was also the theme of the 2002 Mass Games and we were told that performers practiced for a year -- this time they took six months to rehearse for the performance."

Attend, comrades! Be noticink Comrade Schorr's jaw-droppink photos of Arirang performance, featurink batallions of loyal heroic prrroletarian workers sufficient to conquer any weak effete imperialist pig-dog democracy, yet engagink instead in entirely voluntary glorious peaceful happy artistic pursuit, free of coercion, compulsion, and/or totalitarian death-threats. This, comrades, is happy Alpha Complex future once Communist secret society is ascendink to rrrightful preordained total supremacy over capitalist pig-dog Computer, ptoo!

Rrrighteous comrades! Now to be killink Comrade Schorr's bandwidth by downloadink incredible, stunnink, indescribably strange videos of Arirang performance: Arirang video 1, Arirang video 2, Arirang video 3. Also to be examinink Comrade Schorr's 300 photos of North Korea.

Comrades, inspirink examples such as these North Korea photos show how different Alpha Complex is becomink once Communists are attainink meritorrrious power! Onward, to glory!

No roleplaying game review site I'm aware of has reviewed any PARANOIA products all year. Frustrated, I have stooped to making multiple imploring posts on the leading site RPG.net. After enduring my pathetic pleas for weeks, one "Matthew" has finally broken the moratorium with a review of The Mutant Experience by R. Eric Reuss of the Traitor Recycling Studio.

Really, getting even this one review has been like pulling teeth. C'mon, people, show some enthusiasm! Write up your thoughts on a PARANOIA roleplaying supplement published this year, then submit a review at RPG.net or the site of your choice. Pleeease! Clearly I'm not above begging, so spare us both further embarrassment and write, write!

Space Rat by Nathan Russell is a new, free indie RPG with PARANOIA-like inter-player rivalry:

"At last! A roleplaying game based on your favourite intergalactic anti-hero, Jack Cosmos - the Space Rat. You’ve read of his cheesy escapades in the international best selling novels, you’ve seen his devious antics on the nationally syndicated television series, and you've collected the spring-loaded glow-in-the-dark action figures. Now you can take part in his outrageous adventures too! Suit up and prepare for action -- you’re about to join the Space Rat’s cadre of needy girlfriends, the Femme Babes, as they set out on another wild ride across the universe!

"In Space Rat: the Jack Cosmos Adventure Game! players become members of the Femme Babes, helping Jack on his adventures in the hope that he will pay them a little extra attention. As a Femme Babe you will have to work with the other girls to complete the mission, but at the same time you want to make sure no one upstages you!"

What's the story with Space Rat? Turns out it's yet another 24-Hour RPG, one of many dozens inspired by an informal but longstanding challenge: Create a complete RPG in 24 hours, start to finish. There's an annual contest, now hosted at 1km1kt.net ("One Thousand Monkeys. One Thousand Typewriters"). In addition, enthused designers often find they have a day to spare and, independent of any cause or occasion, just lob a new game onto the page (recent 24-hour RPG submissions).

The newest twist on this endeavor comes from indie guru Ron Edwards, venerated doyen of Adept Press and small-press Valhalla The Forge. Last month Ron announced a new ongoing contest for his own personal gaming award, the Ronnies. He would award US$75 and a detailed commentary to his favorite 24-hour RPGs submitted in a three-week period and using a premise based on exactly two (not one, not three, not four) of the following keywords: suburb, hatred, girlfriend, rat. There were at least 30 entries, and Nathan Russell's Space Rat (rat, girlfriend) was among the September Ronnie winners. (Forge feedback on Space Rat.)

Ron just closed the October Ronnies contest, which drew 15 entries using the keywords fight, pain, cosmos, sphere. If you feel left out, stay tuned; there may be another contest next month. Or, you know, you could just take the bit in your teeth and design a 24-hour RPG anyway, prize or not. That seems to be the spirit of the challenge.

I've never done a 24-hour RPG and frankly have no interest in trying. I'm a slow-cooker, a fine-tuner. Until recently I never really saw the point of the exercise, but as he often does, Ron Edwards made illuminating comments in this Forge thread:

"The point is to make games without having time to second-guess yourself and distract yourself by crusting on a bunch of pseudo-industry crap in lieu of making sure all the parts are there. This is an easy and fun way to make games. [...] The 24-Hour RPG process produces alpha games. Alpha means that the game is present in all of its parts, but should now enter the cycle of playtest and revision. An alpha game is almost certainly going to be mis-written here and there, to have a couple contradictions or backwards pieces of its rules, and to have a couple things which probably need to get fully retooled later. I realize this. What you might not understand is that I want this. Alpha games are the best way to understand role-playing as a procedural and imaginative process. They are the font of learning. They are the meat, on the one hand, of inspiration and innovation, and on the other, of imaginative fun. When you try them out, stuff works that you never expected, and stuff that doesn't hold up jumps right out at you. [...] The 24-Hour RPG is there to help you design games, not to make it weird and hard. Do it right."

Ron's comments on the first Ronnie contest itself: "I greatly enjoyed the back-to-basics process of the contest, which is why I started it in the first place. The Forge simply needs more games, more playtesting, and more applications of ideas without getting wrapped up in ego-driven and confusion-mongering debate. These were games; I got to read them and in many cases, became excited about potentially playing them. The original Forge was dedicated to finding and helping nascent game authors, and I consider this contest to be getting back to those goals."

The new Extreme PARANOIA rules supplement includes rules for playing characters of all security clearances from ORANGE through VIOLET. Each clearance has its own section, which begins with a one-page Internal Security dossier on a typical citizen of that clearance. The dossiers were written by Eric Minton of the Traitor Recycling Studio, and he did a fine job.

Due to the sinister machinations of omnipresent Communist saboteurs (who always strike during really tight deadlines), the dossier for ORANGE Clearance was omitted from the published book. Mongoose Publishing has now made the ORANGE dossier available as a free .PDF download. (You'll need the free Adobe Reader software to view the .PDF file.)

A few weeks back I had to sternly correct Amazon.com's mistaken title for the May 2006 PARANOIA product. The book they erroneously list as "Mission Inscrutable" will in fact be called Sector Zero. Now it turns out Amazon has screwed up again, mistakenly listing another product on next year's PARANOIA schedule as "Things to Do in Alpha Complex When You're Dead." This title is incorrect. Like "Mission Inscrutable," this was one of Mongoose Publishing's placeholder titles for a product that hadn't yet been decided. The actual title is Spin Control, and that's all I want to say about it for, oh, about a year or so.

These placeholder titles might foster the wrong impression that the PARANOIA line could return to the style of witless parody West End Games foisted on the innocent public during the company's prolonged decline. We'll be reprinting and updating the only decent parody in the West End line, Ken Rolston's Orcbusters, in a book next spring called Collapsatron (together with Clones in Space). Other than that, I assure you no parodies are planned, nor are they likely.

Courtesy of loyal citizen Gor-R-ILA on Paranoia-Live.net, this column by technology writer Steve Makris of the Edmonton (Alberta) Journal: Smile, the camera is waiting for you -- Only cheerful faces in smart cameras of the future.

"Canon's automatic smile detection system prototype turned heads at the recent Japanese giant's Canon Expo 2005 in New York, an event also held in Paris and Tokyo every five years. The camera's artificial intelligence tracks all moving faces within sight and snaps the picture when smiles and bright eyes peak -- a challenge for even professional photographers. It will be a while before this camera hits the streets."

Courtesy of Greg Ingber of the Traitor Recycling Studio, this hard-hitting story from the Russian newspaper Pravda: Diet of Kremlin politicians now available for anyone.

"Recently, a book by Vilena Gurova, Unclassified Diet of Kremlin Politicians, came out in Russia. The book tells about a low-carbohydrate diet that helps the Kremlin elite be in good form. [... T]he diet of Kremlin politicians was developed for American military and astronauts. It is said that the diet has not become the norm for American astronauts. Politicians having access to classified information about the diet immediately decided to try the diet themselves. Today, the low-carbohydrate diet is very popular among Russian politicians. It is known that many of the Kremlin elite have already lost weight thanks to the diet."

Greg says, "Perhaps readers can suggest what the 'High Programmer Diet' would consist of. Not their actual diet, mind you, but what sort of diet the High Programmers would endorse for the masses."

Via BoingBoing: Dolphins sing 'Batman' theme.

This story in itself has nothing to do with PARANOIA, but it struck me as so offbeat, so R&D-like, so -- what's the word? -- dumb, that I feel Alpha Complex may have missed a bet. Aside from the occasional rat, roach, or ringworm, there are no animals in the underground city setting of PARANOIA, at least not officially (though every Gamemaster is right). But we could envision an unofficial alternate Complex where The Computer has mandated animal-based innovation to promote greater security and happiness. Think of the possibilities:

• Your uplifted capuchin monkey spies on you and tries to recruit you into the Sierra Club.


• Death Leopard affixes tiny dots of plastic explosive on the backs of cockroaches. Heck, an R&D geneticist could breed mutant roaches that synthesize plastic explosive from Hot Fun leavings. And the mutant roaches breed true.


• Final showdown in Messhall CFR435-G at 13:00! The dogs versus the cats! Only one species gets out alive!

Other ideas?

Mongoose Publishing is contemplating publication of a quick-start PARANOIA guide for players (not Gamemasters), to be released next summer. This would be a 24- to 48-page guide with the essential background players need to get started playing.

Currently Mongoose wants to include something new and desirable in this proposed guide, a must-have addition to draw prospective customers. They're looking for ideas. I suggested full-color Mandatory Bonus Duty badges, new illos for all the weapons, and similar stuff, but these notions aren't sexy enough. Suggestions?

UPDATE 2: That detestable curse on society, the comment spammer, has returned to blight this innocent page. After spending a few pleasant moments contemplating his violent death, I tried to turn on Blogger's "word verification" scheme, which puts one of those "type this word in the blank" CAPTCHA lines in the comment block. Unfortunately, according to Greg Costikyan (who owns this blog), "Blogger's thing won't stop it, because we haven't been using Blogger comments. Instead, it's a freeware thing someone cobbled together before Blogger offered its own comments system.

"There is a fix--which is getting rid of it and using Blogger comments instead. The problem with this is that the next time the blog gets published, the new template overrides the old one, and all archives no longer point to the old comments. And there doesn't seem an easy way of fixing this problem... I can look into it at some point, but this is why I haven't gone to Blogger comments already."

Here is the freeware comments script to which Greg refers. Anyone out there wise in the ways of CSS, who can figure out how to fix that script?

If the spam problem continues, I may have to disable comments here and send good citizens over to the forums on Paranoia-Live.net. Join up there today, and be ready!