Games * Design * Art * Culture

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Game Developers Change Light Bulbs

Q: How many game designers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: No, no. Players change light bulbs. We just create incentives for them to do so.

Q: How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Changing the light bulb isn't critical path, so don't expect it before beta.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That code hasn't been checked in yet.

Q: How many art directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Does it have to be a light bulb?

Q: How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to model the light bulb, one to texture-map the light bulb, and one to animate the light bulb.

Q: How many Q/A people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Content issue/Non-critical. In the previous joke, this was artists. Is that a problem?

posted by Greg at 10:09 AM 39 comments

39 Comments:

Those made me smile, and giggle.

In other news:

America is bankrupt.

http://www.financialsense.com/fsu/editorials/martenson/2006/1217.html

By Anonymous, at 10:51 AM

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's a hardware issue.

By brunns, at 11:09 AM

That's a really good one. I have to print it and put it on my wall :)

By Roman Budzowski, at 12:29 PM

Well, this one is a favourite too:

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A:

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.

2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."

By Adam Lindberg, at 1:51 PM

Well, if its a hardware problem...

Q: How many IT Department Workers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Are you sure it's plugged in? Try shutting it down and rebooting it.

-Karen

By Anonymous, at 2:02 PM

No, no, that's not the right lawyer joke.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: How many can you afford?

By Anonymous, at 2:14 PM

Q. How many Engine Programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Can't do it, hardware issues, but one will hack up some LEDs in the meanwhile.

Q. How many Gameplay Programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
a. Three. One to bitch at the Engine team about the lack of Lightbulb support engine side. One to bitch to management about those lazy engine programmers and one to promise the Game Designers that there will be lightbulbs before Alpha.

Q. How many Tools Programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one but the next time you want to change a lightbulb you'll find it's easier to cut the glass open and replace the fillament.

Colm Mac

By Anonymous, at 3:40 PM

Q: How many focus group members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Dude, if you could, like, make the lightbulb do wicked stuff like a samurai and, like, slow shit down like in the Matrix, that would totally rock.

By Jeff, at 6:00 PM

Q. How many AAA publishing executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A. What's wrong with tallow candles? We've sold tons of those. These "bulbs" sound risky.

By JP, at 10:49 PM

Q. How many Community Managers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. We're looking into this currently, and will be releasing more information about the upcoming lighting changes soon.

By GreyPawn, at 10:35 AM

Q. How many game reviewers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Since I prefer blue light, I'll just report all red bulbs as defective.

By Anonymous, at 10:45 AM

Q. How many game writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Game writers can't afford electricity.

By Anonymous, at 10:46 AM

Q. How many Electronic Arts executives does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. What's wrong with living in eternal darkness?

By Anonymous, at 10:51 AM

Q: How many Marketers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: What's wrong with just calling the game, "Dark: The Darkening"?

Q: How many Infocom Implementors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. They were eaten by grues when the light went out.

By Noah Falstein, at 11:24 AM

Q. How many Electronic Arts executives does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Just one. But the filament is available separately for a "low" cost on Xbox Marketplace. "We want to give gamers freedom to choose how they get their lighting" commented an executive.

By Anonymous, at 9:51 AM

Q. How many gaming academics does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. According to Chris Crawford (The Art of Computer Game Design: Reflections of a Master Game Designer. Berkeley: Osborne/McGraw-Hill, 1984, p. 110), "To this point [lightbulbs] have catered to the fantasies of twisted computer 'nerds', but they will soon blossom into much richer explorations of fantasies." Note how Crawford alludes to the rotation of the lightbulbs in their sockets by his use of the adjective 'twisted' in describing the 'nerds'.

By The Professor, at 8:19 PM

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Rich Carlson, at 9:22 AM

(with a nod to Noah)

Q: How many game story writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: In the time of the ancient ones, the Darklord, scheming in his dark sanctum, unleashed an ancient darkness, enveloping the land in eternal night. This was the Dark Time when man fought man, man fought beast and man fought monster, all in the name of an Evil most dark and foul.

But all was not lost. The Forgotten Prophecy would soon come to pass. A single hero, armed with the legendary broadsword, Spleenraker, would arise to slay Evil and bring light into the darkness, to reveal, for all to see, the true extent of the darkness and banish it forever into the deepest darkest darkness from whence it came.

This is YOUR task, mighty one. YOU must change light bulb.

By Rich Carlson, at 9:51 AM

Q: How many level designers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but there's no way to know if it will work unless we wait two days for the light map to be rebuilt.

By Anonymous, at 10:52 AM

Q: How many game designers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 100, 1 to actually screw in the bulb and 99 to talk about how they are going to revolutionize the lightbulb installation industry.

-Twitchings

By Anonymous, at 1:43 PM

liqingchao 07?09?03?
google??
google??
wow gold
wow gold
powerleveling
powerleveling
wow gold
wow gold
powerleveling
powerleveling
power leveling
power leveling
wow powerleveling
wow powerleveling
wow power leveling
wow power leveling
wow power level
wow power level
world of warcraft powerleveling
world of warcraft powerleveling
world of warcraft power leveling
world of warcraft power leveling
Crm
Crm
????
????
????
????
????
????
????
????
??????
??????
????
????
rolex replica
rolex replica
china tour
china tour
hongkong hotel
hongkong hotel
beijing tour
beijing tour

????
????
??
??
????
????
????
????
????
????
??
??
????
????
????
????
??????
??????
??????
??????
??????
??????
???
??
??
??
?????
?????
??????
??????

??????
??????
???
???
?????
?????
??????
??????
google??
????
????
????
????
???
??
??
????
????
?????
?????

By Anonymous, at 2:46 AM

EVE ISK
EQ2 Gold
FFXI Gil
Guild Wars Gold
Lineage 2 Adena
Runescape Money
wow power leveling
wow gold
cheap wow gold
World of Warcraft Gold
wow power leveling
EVE ISK
EQ2 Gold
EQ2 plat
everquest 2 gold
FFXI Gil
FFXI Gil
Guild Wars Gold
Lineage 2 Adena
Maple Story Mesos
Runescape Money
Runescape Gold
runescape items
SilkRoad Gold
wow gold
warcraft gold
cheap wow gold
wow gold
warcraft gold
LOTRO Gold
wow power leveling
cheap wow gold
wow gold
cheap wow gold

runescape gold
runescape money
runescape items
cheap runescape money
cheap runescape gold
wow power leveling
wow powerleveling
world of warcraft power leveling
wow power leveling
wow powerleveling
world of warcraft power leveling
wow power leveling
wow powerleveling
world of warcraft power leveling
wow power leveling
wow powerleveling
world of warcraft power leveling
ffxi gil

Final Fantasy XI Gil
ro Zeny
wow gold
cheap wow gold
cheap wow gold
eq2 gold
eq2 plat
everquest 2 gold
lotro gold
lotro power leveling
lotro powerleveling

By Anonymous, at 9:26 PM

If you don't understand the gravitational wow powerleveling of an MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game:wow power leveling), I'm going to enlighten you with just a dozen words about world of warcraft power leveling: you get to pick what you look like and what your talents are in world of warcraft powerleveling.

That's the real beauty of it with maple story hacks. The first thing you do in the MMORPG World of Warcraft is design your own body to take final fantasy xi power leveling and decide what your strengths will be without maplestory hacks. You pick your race(ffxi powerleveling). What could be more seductive than that with wow gold, the ability to turn in all of the cards without world of warcraft gold you were dealt at birth and draw new ones from a face-up deck? If you have friends who've gotten sucked into the WoW black hole and you don't understand why they never talk to you any more, this is wow powerleveling. I remember being a chubby teenager with bad skin, wow power leveling and astigmatism and pants that didn't fit and wow power level quite right. What would I have given to be reborn as a strapping warrior with rippling pecs and armor of hammered silver to wow powerlevel?

Hehe, Rushu of dofus has gone into the video game equivalent of the Great Depression. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer in comparation of dofus kamas:
F2Ps cant get a profession above level 30 in dofus, so gathering dofus kamas is slow, and such crafting professions take longer to gain the resources. Also crafting professions can't get up to a level high enough to make anything costly, or become a magus.
Equipment hunting in dofus isn't worth as much anymore, unless you're hunting a Gelano to earn a great amount of dofus kamas. This is because before if you got, for example, a 1/1 prespic lining it was worth next to nothing. Now, if you get a 1/1 lining,you get someone to mage it so its higher, so there are more better linings, so the price goes down. Even the ones that have more stats that is normally possible aren't worth as much as a perfect lining was before the magus system.

Runescape offers its gamers a wide variety of skills for farming runescape gold/runescape money to be picked up, with each skill serving a particular purpose and adding some amount of value runescape gold to the player. There are twenty three distinct kinds of skill sets categorized under four major topics of runescape money; Combat skills, Extraction skills, Processing skills and Independent skills for farming runescape money. Attainment of mastery in these skills automatically results in improved performance of a player in Runescape to get runescape money.

By bibiy34, at 7:59 AM

??
????
????
????
????
?????
????
??
??
????
????
????
????
????
???
???
????
????

By Anonymous, at 2:04 AM

wow gold
wow gold
wow gold
cheap wow gold
world of warcraft gold
Buy WoW gold
World of Warcraft Gold
Buy World of Warcraft gold
Cheap World of Warcraft Gold
buy Cheap World of Warcraft Gold
wow gold
wow gold
wow gold
cheap wow gold
world of warcraft gold
Buy WoW gold
World of Warcraft Gold
Buy World of Warcraft gold
Cheap World of Warcraft Gold
buy Cheap World of Warcraft Gold

By Anonymous, at 3:17 AM

??????|??????|??????
??????|??????|??????
??????|??????|??????
??????|??????|??????
??????|??????|??????
??????|??????|??????
??????|??????|??????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????
????|????|????

By Anonymous, at 4:18 AM

wow power leveling
wow powerleveling
wow power leveling
wow gold
wow items
feelingame.com
wow tips
Most Valuable WOW Power Leveling Service
wow power leveling faq
cheap wow power leveling
wow power leveling
wow powerleveling
wow power lvl

By Anonymous, at 11:13 PM

google??
google????

By Anonymous, at 3:52 AM

?????????????????
??
????
????
??????
????
?????
????
??
??
????
????
???
????
???
????
??????????????????????????

By Anonymous, at 9:45 PM

China Tours and Yangtze Cruises A professional China travel agency offering private & group package tours, tailor-made vacations for families, couples and individual travelers, Yangtze cruises, hotel & ticket booking services.

China Travel and Tours One-stop China travel service delivering China package tours, discount Yangtze River cruises and best rate hotels.

Tibet Train Travel A reliable tour operator specializing in Tibet tour packages, adventures, hotel and train ticket booking.

China Maps A free web-based source for China travel and tour map users

Voyage Chine, Tour de Chine, Circuit Chine - Un agence sp�cialiste voyage en Chine

Great Wall of China A website for the Great Wall of China.

By china tour, at 9:29 PM

By Anonymous, at 9:48 PM

Traffic Sex carries sex toy like giant dildos and rabbit vibrators and even vibrating bullets for women and for the man we have sex toys cock rings and realitic vaginas online.
Giant Dildos Giant Dildos
Rabbit Vibrators Rabbit Vibrators
Vibrating bullets Vibrating bullets
Strap On Dildos for Women Strap On Dildos for Women
cock rings cock rings
Penis Enlargement Pumps for men Penis Enlargement Pumps for men
Realistic Vaginas Realistic Vaginas
anal sex toys anal sex toys
massage lotion massage lotion
Bondage Toys Bondage Toys
Blow up Sex Dolls Blow up Sex Dolls
sex toy sex toy
sexy christmas gift ideas sexy christmas gift ideas
valentines day gift valentines day gift
sexy valentines gift sexy valentines gift
erotic valentines gift idea erotic valentines gift idea
buy erotic sexy valentines day gifts buy erotic sexy valtentines day gifts

If you are seeking adult swingers BDSM gay dating
lesbian dating then Swingers Club is where you want to
be for your alternative dating join free.

swingers swingers
BDSM personals BDSM personals
adult swingers adult swingers
swingers club swingers club
sex swingers sex swingers
swingers dating swingers dating
gay swingers gay swingers

By sex toy, at 10:55 AM

wow gold
wow gold
wow gold
wow gold
wow power leveling
wow powerleveling
wow power leveling
wow power leveling
wow powerleveling
wow powerleveling
wow power leveling
wow power leveling
wow powerleveling
wow powerleveling
????
rolex
rolex replica
wow gold
wow gold
World of Warcraft Gold
World of Warcraft Gold
wow powerleveling
wow powerleveling
wow power leveling
wow power leveling

powerleveling
powerleveling
powerleveling
powerleveling
power leveling
power leveling
powerleveling
powerleveling
power leveling
power leveling
wow powerleveling
wow powerleveling
wow power leveling
wow power leveling
rs Gold
rs Gold
Runescape Gold
Runescape Gold
rs powerleveling
rs powerleveling
Runescape powerleveling
Runescape powerleveling

lotro gold
lotro gold
LOTRO US Gold
LOTRO US Gold
LOTRO EU Gold
LOTRO EU Gold
buy lotro gold
buy lotro gold
cheap lotro gold
cheap lotro gold
LOTRO Powerleveling
LOTRO Powerleveling
LOTRO Power leveling
LOTRO Power leveling
SilkRoad Gold
SilkRoad Gold
SilkRoad Powerleveling
SilkRoad Powerleveling
SilkRoad Power leveling
SilkRoad Power leveling
SR Gold
SR Gold
SR Powerleveling
SR Powerleveling
SR Power leveling
SR Power leveling

By Anonymous, at 8:00 PM

By Anonymous, at 8:21 PM

runescape money runescape gold runescape money runescape gold wow power leveling wow powerleveling Warcraft Power Leveling Warcraft PowerLeveling buy runescape gold buy runescape money runescape items runescape gold runescape accounts runescape gp dofus kamas buy dofus kamas Guild Wars Gold buy Guild Wars Gold runescape accounts buy runescape accounts runescape lotro gold buy lotro gold lotro gold buy lotro gold lotro gold buy lotro gold lotro gold buy lotro gold runescape money runescape power leveling runescape money runescape gold dofus kamas cheap runescape money cheap runescape gold Hellgate Palladium Hellgate London Palladium Hellgate money Tabula Rasa gold tabula rasa money ??? ???? ????? ???? ??? ??? ???? ?????? ??? ???? ??????? ??? ?????? ?????? ???????? ????? ???

By Anonymous, at 1:26 AM

By Anonymous, at 1:56 AM

runescape money runescape gold runescape money runescape gold wow power leveling wow powerleveling Warcraft Power Leveling Warcraft PowerLeveling buy runescape gold buy runescape money runescape items runescape gold runescape money runescape accounts runescape gp dofus kamas buy dofus kamas Guild Wars Gold buy Guild Wars Gold runescape accounts buy runescape accounts runescape lotro gold buy lotro gold lotro gold buy lotro gold lotro gold buy lotro gold lotro gold buy lotro gold runescape money runescape power leveling runescape money runescape gold dofus kamas cheap runescape money cheap runescape gold Hellgate Palladium Hellgate London Palladium Hellgate money Tabula Rasa gold tabula rasa money Tabula Rasa Credit
Tabula Rasa Credits Hellgate gold Hellgate London gold

By Anonymous, at 3:35 AM

lotro gold
lord of the rings gold
lord of the rings online gold
lotro gold
lord of the rings gold
lord of the rings online gold
Warhammer gold
Warhammer money
War gold
War money
Tabula Rasa Credit
lotro gold
lord of the rings gold
lord of the rings online gold
lord of the rings online gold
lord of the rings gold
Tabula Rasa Credit
World of Warcraft gold
PotBS Doubloon
Pirates of the Burning Sea Doubloon

By lotro gold, at 10:22 AM

wow gold cheap wow gold buy wow gold world of warcraft gold wow world of warcraft wow gold WoW Warrior WoW Hunter WoW Rogue WoW Paladin WoW Shaman WoW Priest WoW Mage WoW Druid WoW Warlock power leveling powerleveling wow power leveling wow powerleveling wow guides wow tips google?? google???? google???? ???? ???? ???? ??? ?? LED? ?? ?? ??? ?? ?? ?? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? powerlin518 logo design website design web design ????

By runescapemoney, at 4:13 AM